Monday, July 03, 2006

Dear Carolyn Advice column: Should we have kids?

Stay childless until you're ready for responsibility

To a reader who wonders if he should have children to please his wife:
Not everyone who has children loves to be around children. But it would be unconscionable to have one when you don't feel a profound sense of responsibility to be there, and to show steady, devoted and fierce love and support.
And to a couple who is unsure whether they want them:

Unfortunately, those safeguards aren't always so simple -- you can simultaneously ove your kids and miss your freedom -- and they aren't guarantees against parents who shouldn't have kids.

The yea- or nay-maker, I guess, is commitment. Are you ready to be the kind of parents you'd want? No matter what happens? If you're ready to say yes, you're ready to say yes. And that's as close to your decision as outsiders like me can get.

Maybe Ms. Emily Joffe should be writing a Dear Carolyn about being a better advice columnist, and not projecting one's own insecurities onto readers.

2 comments:

Ashley said...

"Maybe Ms. Emily Joffe should be writing a Dear Carolyn about being a better advice columnist, and not projecting one's own insecurities onto readers."

I disagree. Wasn't her opening line something like "You should remain childless until you can think of someone besides yourself"

She clearly thinks there's something wrong with him for not wanting to have kids. She just doesn't think he should give in if he doesn't really want them.

Law Geek said...

That's not the contrapositive.

Just because selfish people shouldn't have children doesn't mean that people that don't have children are selfish. Logic just doesn't work that way.