Saturday, October 07, 2006

Seven Lies About Marriage

Lie #6: Children solidify a marriage.

It's about time that 'happily ever after' doesn't always mean the princess rides away to start birthin'. I feel that popular culture still glorifies the idea that the perfect happy ending to a romance always ends in children. Disabusing ourselves can do more than gratify the childfree - it can make future parents realize they need to sort out all the kinks and brace for what is ahead. It can also warn off those who think that children will fix a rocky relationship - a myth that has ended in more than its share of single parents.

A friend of mine is pregnant. In a conversation the other night, she cited the statistic that the first year of marriage and the first year after the birth of a child are the most likely times for divorce. I do believe that her awareness will help her marriage buck this statistic.

Another person chimed in with the fact that another pitfall time is right after the children leave. I suppose that if all you've focused on is the joint enterprise of parenting, when it is gone you might realize that you lost what had brought you together in the first place. The advice in this article, by emphasizing that you need to keep putting the marriage first, can help couples avoid this.

Of course, some of us have figured out a way to steer clear of these pitfalls altogether.

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