Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Stop Talking About Your Kids

Work/Life: Don't talk about kids to people without kids

But if you want my business, or even friendship, then as one of the handful of people who don't have kids, please spare me the harping on about your kids, and see what turns up.

Someone wanted to engage in a lunch appointment with me, seeking my business. It required a bit of to-ing and fro-ing on email and phone. Every single communication of his somehow entailed a logistic around his stepdaughter Mish. . . .How could this harping on about his kids potentially leave me feeling, even for a fleeting moment?

Left out. Inadequate. One of poor furry sods hovering on the fringes of the seething furry mass in March of the Penguins, eggless and forlorn, as happy pair-nguins protectively guard their orb. . . .Did it make me want to do business with him? Not really. It made me feel we're not pedaling our trikes in the same cul-de-sac.
. . .
I am not saying that you cannot talk about things that are important to you. In fact, by doing so, you can bring people closer. But be mindful - it takes two to make a conversation. You can have all the creds in the world to do a particular job, but you might be sabotaging yourself from real success just by one small detail in the what you're unwittingly putting out. Bit like having awful BO but being a brilliant hairdresser. You might find yourself relegated to clipping poodles, at least they'll love you to death.

Fast Company is a pretty mainstream buisiness magazone - I have run across it in many a dentist's office. While this is probably just on the site, (being a 'blog) it is nice to se the topic addressed.

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9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I work in a position where I deal with a lot of salespeople and designers...for some reason they seem to think that because I'm female, if they mention their kids I'll buy their product or give them business.

Wow, are they ever barking up the wrong tree.

britgirl said...

This is SO true! People take it for granted that everyone's interested in their kids. I do a lot of networking and I am finding that when I meet with women, not only is the first thing out of their mouths something about their kids, but almost everything is a reference to them!Men are almost as bad. And they don't get the message, even when I fail to respond in kind with "kid stories."

Makes me so annoyed. But I will link to this post on my blog.
Business is business and time is money and people should keep their babbling about their kids to a bare minimum. Preferably not at all.

Good one!

Anonymous said...

I agree....I am 36, married, but we are child-free, by choice. My coworker had a baby a year ago and has talked of nothing else besides her daughter since then. I understand her excitement and everything, but do I have to hear about EVERY little thing she does? I don't tell her every little thing our dog or our cats do, do I? The stories are sometimes cute, but honestly, don't you have anything else to say about anything going on in the world? The problem with parents is that they are so focused on their children that they don't care about anything else! Ironic, since their children will grow up in a world that is so unfair, yet the parents are doing nothing to change it....

tubal reversal said...

no men are not bad but babies are sweet."Children are one of the greatest blessings in life, and their birth into loving and nurturing families is central to God’s purposes for humanity"

tubal ligation reversal said...

Why you said stop to talk about kids?They are light in this world.

Anonymous said...

So totally agree.
I'm sick of hearing about people's kids. I don't have the heart to tell them that their stories are boring me to tears, but then they think I enjoy them when I just smile and nod.
Vicious cycle, man.

Jackie said...

Do I like kids? Sure. Do I want to have kids? Yes. Do I know your kids personally? No, so please stop talking about them. I DON'T CARE.

Anonymous said...

I'm dating a guy who has a son and every other sentence is about HIM. I get so annoyed and he somewhat lets his son run him. This man even misses work just to spend time with him. He has full custody of him, but will call in just to hang out with him?? I want to just tell him how sick and tired I am with his son this, and his son that. Geez!

Anonymous said...

The reason why it's annoying when people go on and on and on and on and on about their children is because it is a form of self-centeredness.

You are a captive audience as some parent gushes at how their 14 month old now loves to eat mangoes, but doesn't yet like papayas...WHO CARES?! Would these same people like to hear about my awesome "coins from around the world" collection?