Why Having Children Isn't Such a Bad Idea After All

A Response to Corinne Maier's Book, No Kid: 40 Reasons Not to Have Children

This response says nothing new, but that is the fun part. The author regurgitates the same tired platitudes we have been hearing our whole lives, but does so with a smug pride that borders between pathetic and amusing. Kind of like the proud look one's cat displays when dragging half a mouse into your home.

We live in a society that worships pleasure.

Erm, what? I'm no expert on French culture, but from what I hear they worship babies as much as everything else. And just like every other society on Earth, they are composed of human beings who seek pleasure, which all living creatures naturally do. What justifies calling that state "worship"?

. . . However, some people can idolize pleasure in such a way that they miss out on what truly matters in life. Corinne Maier is one such person.

Corinne Maier is a Frenchwoman who regrets her decision to have daughter Laure, 13, and son Cyrille, 10. . . . Ms. Maier insists that "your job as a parent comes first, and the romance in your lives is replaced by DIY and dusting." I would argue that this is simply Ms. Maier's choice. Life is nothing but a series of choices, and though many parents choose to put their relationship on hold to focus on the children, I am a mother who has chosen otherwise. My husband and I decided before we had children that we would put our relationship first and incorporate our children into our lives, not the other way around. Instead of hurting our son, this has instead given him a sense of security, because he is blessed enough to know that his parents love each other very much. Parents all around the world have chosen to structure their lives this way!

Then why do countless studies show a significant drop in marital happiness after children arrive? And a spike when they leave? Why are we inundated with articles about trying to find balance, and indicate the great difficulty this presents? I suppose it is not for me to doubt this woman's assertions that she has found some magical solution, but I can sure as hell argue that it is not as easy as she makes it sound. Her suggestion that it is just an individual failure of Ms. Maier is as obnoxious as it is inaccurate.

Maturity is what motivates mothers to endure the pain of childbearing for the greater beauty of bringing life into the world, to pull themselves out of bed in the middle of the night to feed a hungry baby, and to stay home from a social event to care for a sick child.

Or maturity is what allows people to make their own choices, and your acts are difficult ones that nonetheless spring from your own decisions based on what you wanted out of life.

In one sense, economists and writers are a dime a dozen. For each mother who leaves the rat race to focus on raising a family, another young professional will take her place. The world does not value its economists and writers like it values its mothers. Yes, being a mother takes a lot of work, but those who willingly invest their lives into their children reap their just rewards. Those who have parented well find parenting to be the most rewarding job on earth.

Ah, I see. I'm glad that the singular psychology of the human race has been decided and presented so clearly. And what a brilliant way to make one's point! All those who do not find parenting to be rewarding can merely be cast aside as those who failed to do it well. The great tool of circular reason will forever make this assertion unassailable.

All across the ages, all around the world, children have long been regarded as one's crowning achievement. Let us not lose sight of the bigger picture but for a little immature selfishness. It is time the world recognizes that there is no greater calling or more noble task than equipping and nurturing our fellow human race; they may be young now, but the future of our world rests in their little hands.

What brilliant and novel insights! Well, I suppose they cannot be insights, since she does not bother to explain the reasoning behind them. Instead she relies on the assertion of what has "long been regarded".

Wait, what? You can't have it both ways. Either there is universal acceptance of this assertion, or "It is time the world recognizes" it. Unless she is trying to draw a nuance between children as a crowning achievement and a noble calling. Somehow, I doubt such a fine point is within this writer's capabilities. If it is, she is hiding it quite nicely.

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