Friday, August 28, 2009

Child-free movement: You say 'child-free,' I say 'childless'

Orlando Sentinel
My life would be a lot less full and happy and complete without my children. Here's a short list of what the so-called "child-free" are missing.

(I figured I'd tell them since they've never actually walked in the shoes of a parent, but I've walked in theirs -- for 35 years to be exact. And sorry, no, nieces and nephew aren't the same as having your own kids.)
And a response.

Online (and sometimes off) there is often tension between child-free zealots and passionate (some would say overly-passionate) parents.
. . .
One part of the child-free analysis often comes down to a discussion of return-on-investment. My husband and I often spoke in these terms when talking about whether or not to have kids. We're both extremely analytical people and for a long time, for us, when we would list the pros and cons, the ROI was simply not there. Until I was pregnant, we decided to stay pregnant, and then it didn't matter anymore.
. . .
But I am still far too analytical to ever do what the author of the Moms At Work piece did. And I still sympathize with the child-free crowd--not, mind you, because we regret having our son. But because it is a thought process that makes sense to me, even though we ultimately chose a different path. Not everyone needs to be a parent, no matter how rewarding some (but certainly not all!) aspects of childrearing may be. My child has added immeasurably to our lives, but that certainly doesn't mean that I think anyone who doesn't parent is "missing out." Besides, most of my child-free friends make great ~Aunts and ~Uncles for my little guy!



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4 comments:

Vinny C said...

My favorite part is the apology.

"I’m sorry my words hurt."

That's a big difference from "I'm sorry I hurt people with my words." Her apology treats her action (saying words) as essentially neutral. This puts distance between her and the people getting hurt. *She* didn't hurt people, *her words* hurt people.

This isn't surprising (and may not even be conscious). She took great pains to distance herself further with "Part of me isn’t sure that I need to explain myself."

Whatever, lady. I doubt most childfree people would care that some random blogging mom doesn't like them, let alone be hurt by her. You can keep your equivocation. I mean, apology.

Ms. Christine said...

This is the comment I left. Because after all, the cat-less are totally missing out. Why wouldn't anyone want cats? ;-P
~
Well, in response, I would like to make my own list: 10 Reasons to Adopt Stray Cats, or What the Cat-less are Missing

1) A living stuffed animal that purrs on you (and thereby massages you) while you sleep

2) With more than one young cat, a nightly live nature show as they chase each other around your home.

3) Sitting by the window watching the rain with your cat.

4) A live-in mouse deterrent.

5) A greeter by the door or window every time you return from work.

6) Free exfoliation when your cat licks you.

7) A newfound fascination with mundane, simple things ("Why does Fluffy stare at the oscillating fan?")

8) Daily photo ops as your living work of art poses in every classic cat position (curled on the couch, perched on the windowsill, stretching...)

9) A nonjudgmental listener for all your rants and raves.

10) The perhaps selfish pride that had it not been for you, this graceful, unique, beautiful creature would have been roadkill.

by flamencocat, human-childfree woman and proud "momcat"

C├ęcile said...

Hi there, I am a reporter working on a story about people who chose to remain child free for environmental reasons. Can you please contact me back?
Thanks,
CG

mccn said...

I thought folks might be interested in this film - I don't know if it has potential advocacy use, but I like the idea all the same.