Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The 9 commandments of dining with little kids

Better Homes and Garden

The editors removed #10 - Don't Breastfeed at the Table, then issued an apology. Is it really that hard to time it so you're not breastfeeding while you dine out? Never having lactated, I don't know. I don't think we're getting the real answer from the breastfeeding advocates, who are a bit myopic on the matter.

Also check out this angry rant from a delusional mom who is offended by the notion that she bring a smaller stroller. Also, she can't get her kids to stop screaming because the mean people at Better Homes and Garden dare suggest she only use quiet toys and those with a sound off button.

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Elexina said...

I don't have a problem with breastfeeding, actually, and sometimes it's the only thing that will pacify an unhappy child. I agree that it doesn't need to be done at a table in the middle of restaurant, but it really doesn't bother me. I've heard complaints that it's gross and unsanitary and noisy and disgusting (etc.) but I'd rather sit with a breastfeeding baby than across from my uncle at dinner any day.

It's too bad the author has to preface the piece with "I'm not anti-child" because that makes it pretty clear s/he is not a parent, which means parents can blissfully ignore everything written. It's a shame, but we need more pro-CF parents to write things like this so the babycrazy folk start to realize that not everyone with children is a maniac about it.

It's also sad that ANY of this needs to be said!!

Jem said...

I am not childfree, surfed in here while looking for something completely other! Anyway, I have a 6 month old baby & am breastfeeding, so wanted to answer your question.

Breastfed babies typically feed more often than formula fed babies. This is due, in part, to the fact that breast milk is so well digested by a baby's gut that it requires frequent feeds to remain full. (Also, smaller frequent feeds are better for baby and closer to what nature intended, but that's going over into a whole other topic I think!)

So, because of that requirement, it's often the case that it doesn't matter how much you feed them before leaving the house, unless you're gone for only an hour or so, they'll want feeding again.

Other arguments (not mentioned here) about 'why not pump & use a bottle' etc don't take into consideration that some babies will not drink from a bottle, some babies don't know how (drinking from a bottle and nursing require different mouth/jaw movements), pumping is bloody hard work etc.

TBH given the choice between me feeding my baby and her screaming her lungs out I'm sure we both feel that feeding in public is the lesser evil! ;)

With all that said, I am sure (IIRC) the original article was referring to fancy restaurants & I sure as hell wouldn't take my kid to a fancy restaurant!

Anonymous said...

They've now removed the entire blog post (not just the part about breastfeeding) because the mommies were so outraged...way to cave to the entitled people.

L.T. said...

Thanks Jem, it is nice to get a straightforward answer.

I think both sides can go too far. Many indignant women refuse to make even reasonable concessions (where possible) as if basic courtesy towards those made uncomfortable is somehow conceding political ground. But some people seem to want to be offended, even by discreet, draped, breastfeeding.

If people would just get over their political agenda, I think it would be possible to feed a lot more babies while offending far fewer people. Personally, I am all for anything that keeps infants from screaming!

Lori L. said...

I don't have a problem with breast feeding in public as long as discretion is used. If baby might need to nurse during dinner at a casual restaurant, the family should sit in a booth and the mom should cover appropriately. I happen to think it is all beautiful, but I don't want to accidentally witness it while dining.

Jem, I applaud you for knowing the difference between a family friendly space and one that is for adults only. The US has too much of a focus on every thing/place/activity being family friendly.

WTH are these parents thinking? I was going to comment on their site, but can't do so without the article to read.

Anonymous said...

I read all the stuff you linked to and I disagree in calling the woman a delusional mom. Look boobs and babies using them to nourish is natural, THAT WHAT THEY ARE FOR! The bikini tops and all the porn that's the bonus side.
I would be million more times offended at someone changing their child's diaper at the table whether being McDonald's or a 3 star Michelin restaurant.

My issued with children is lazy parenting when I am eating or on a plane. For example having a kid run around screaming and throwing things and going up to strangers a lifting their skirts or what not. Basic things that an adult would be escorted out of the place for and worst have the cops called on them.
And just to make it clear I am childfree...

L.T. said...

Well Fashion Puttana, I think you read too quickly. There were two paragraphs, one about the breastfeeding mention in BH&G, and one about a delusional mom who doesn't think big strollers are a problem but the idea of using a toy without sound is. I don't think a careful reading of my commentary can possibly give one the idea I'm anti-breastfeeding.