Thursday, November 03, 2011

7 Billion Means You Can Stop Asking When I'm Having A Baby

The bottom line is that when we pressure women to have children, even if we are just innocently asking "when" it will happen, what we are really saying is that women aren't worth much without them. Men aren't asked this question incessantly.
. . .
The truth is, no one ever tells us that we might, actually, not regret living child-free. We might not regret being the best aunts ever while having most of our personal time to devote to a great marriage or several great relationships. We might not regret having the time and resources to travel frequently. We can save for retirement in such a way that we won't need adult children to support or take care of us. And with almost one in five women in the U.S. remaining childless, according to the June 2010 Pew Research Center study, we won't be alone.
. . .
However, with the world's population hitting seven billion people this week, I'd venture to say that the pressure is off. Humankind will not end because you did not give birth. There are, officially, plenty of humans to go around, and it's safe to say that a significant number of them will produce more humans.

In other words, we are off the hook. If you want children, go for it, but do it because you want those children and because you want to be a mother, not because you're afraid of the alternative. Those of us who've taken the other route are doing just fine.
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Anonymous said...

Right on!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this insight!

There seems to be a lot of guilt thrown at childless couples.

My husband and I are unable to have children......have had one miscarriage.We were both really sad when it happened. My husband is more ok with this than I am as said he never really wanted to parent. He is an awesome person and would have made a great Dad.

I grew up in a small town where it is expected for women to procreate. I do tire of the question from strangers: "Do you have children?" It is difficult at times when in the midst of women who are all blabbing about their kids. ....or at baby dedication services at church.

On the positive, I do believe that God has more insight than I do and knows what is best for me, for us. He understands the desires of my heart as well as all the hurts. I can't see the big picture now or maybe I never will this side of heaven. I do know that God does have a plan for each one of our lives and being a parent is not one of them.