Saturday, June 23, 2012

“I’m Never Having Children" Online Dating and the Childfree

Happen Magazine (
Los Angeles native Elizabeth, 35, is inclined to agree. She and her first husband married young, and though the two were happy and compatible in every other regard, he ended up filing for divorce because she realized that she never wanted to have children. Elizabeth felt doubly pressured as a Hispanic woman from a big family, where having lots of children is just something that’s expected after marriage. While she’s confident that not being a parent is right for her personally, she says the added social pressure and judgment from her relatives and their culture has made explaining her decision to others especially difficult. “I feel extremely guilty,” says
Elizabeth. Often, she admits, “I have to lie.”

Her resistance to having kids is what initially attracted her second husband, Jerry. When they met in a Los Angeles grocery store checkout line, he mused, “You’re Hispanic like me. Shouldn’t you have six kids by now?” She blurted out, “I’m never having kids. What’s it to you?” Jerry smiled and replied, “Because I want to ask for your phone number.” The couple has since become inseparable, traveling around the world together and sharing their passion for kayaking.
From what I have heard about online dating, the real story is about how 9/10 people who respond have "wants kids" on their profile; causing some people to launch childfree-only sites.  It is good to see that such a major site is at least aware of us.

Technorati Tag:


Anonymous said...

That is one of the more difficult parts of a childfree lifestyle. Most people simply expect to have children, and expect anyone they meet to also think that. So, when the topic of childrearing (and the announcement that one partner doesn't want children), it's often when the couple has been together for a long while. If they're getting serious, something like this can cause a huge rift, maybe end the relationship.

It's a shame, really. I think this is something people should be very open about early in dating.

I often wonder how difficult it will be to find a partner who either doesn't want children, or is neutral. Typically, men tend to just go with whatever happens, at least from what I've seen. Many men seem to be okay with children if they happen, but don't mind if they don't happen, either.

Who knows.

Anonymous said...

Do you have any info on these childfree dating websites?

L.T. said...

It was at
Looks like the site no longer exists, though.