Thursday, December 26, 2013

Responding to 'Child-free': Missing out on so much

Piper Hoffman write a piece entitled Our Unexpected Choice. Your Voice
Piper, I was hurt by your line, “Life would be better without kids.” How could you know? Life could be different, yes; quieter, perhaps; less direct responsibilities for other people’s lives, OK. But better? How could you say that without ever experiencing having your own children? And it is just not true. Your comment is very hurtful and degrading to all of us parents and our marriages.
What we see here is the kind of failed thinking that leads to people rejecting the childfree. The writer (Dina Bacharach) jumps immediately to the conclusion that Piper is judging her own choice, instead of merely making the decision that is best for her own life. Then, she assumes that she knows what would make Piper happy even though she doesn't know her at all. Who is to say that more quiet and less responsibility isn't exactly what Piper needs to be happy? However, the biggest signal of disordered thinking appears in the line before this quote:
And I see your pain of a lost dream. Because you clearly wrote that you wanted to be a mom.
I don't see that anywhere in the original letter. Indeed, Piper explains her early thinking:
I didn’t yearn for kids but they seemed the thing to do, so we debated how religiously to raise them.
To read that sentence and conclude that Ms. Hoffman wanted to be a mom shows that Bacharach isn't actually reading, but simply projecting her own feelings onto anyone else. This is bigger than the childfree. I think this could apply to many situations. Just because you feel or experience something does not mean that experience is universal. Once we learn to respect the perspectives of others, understand that we are all different and want different things, we will be a better, more accepting society.

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Monday, December 09, 2013

Why we’re child-free and happy

Irish Examiner:
Controversial research at the London School of Economics recently proposed a correlation between high female intelligence and childlessness. Satoshi Kanazawa analysed the UK’s National Child Development Study, which followed a group of people over 50 years, and found that childhood intelligence predicted childlessness in females.
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Wednesday, December 04, 2013

Our unexpected choice: Living child-free - Families Families:

We have never regretted that choice, which is more common now than it was when we made it, but we feel bad about disappointing our mothers. Mine repeatedly warned that I would regret my decision and miss out on great happiness. Contemplating an extended trip to Israel, she sighed pointedly, “I might as well go. It’s not like anyone here needs me.” Knowing I let her down hurts, but not as much as it would to live a life I don’t want.

Monday, October 28, 2013

The Fruitful Callings of the Childless By Choice

Her.meneutics |
"Sometime in your late 20s, you start to notice a change with the invites sitting in your mailbox. The creamy white paper requesting your presence at a wedding transforms into a dainty baby-shower pink or blue. "
I am guessing this is a regional or perhaps religious thing.  I'm 36, and my friends have just started to have children   I also didn't really get wedding invitations until folks turned 30.  At 27, we were the first of our friends to marry, and our comparatively young age was understood as a consequence of dating for 10 years, not a statement about marriage-appropriate age.  

Regardless, yours truly is starting to enter the world of friends-with-kids.  I'm even staying at the home of friends with an infant next month (Well, OK, after 8 days spent partying with my No Kidding! Nashville friends).  So I'll finally get to blog about this quintessentially childfree experience as an insider, instead of as a New Yorker who lives in some strange, childfree paradise.

Of course, that's not really what the article is about.  It discusses childfreedom from the point of view of Christians:
"Being around friends with a houseful of kids doesn't cause us misery. It fills us with the same type of awe we get from watching ultra-marathon runners or astrophysicists. It's a glimpse into a foreign world we enjoy visiting.
Truthfully, the entire time we've been discussing this "radical" option, it never occurred to either of us that what we were talking about doing could be seen as sinful. It wasn't until I started researching the church's traditional stance on sexuality that I saw the huge weight placed on procreation.
. . .
Some people don't have kids because they never marry. Some have to face heartbreaking infertility and can't have children. And others might not have kids because God blessed them with passions and gifts that give them the same sense of fulfillment and joy that their friends get from their children."

As an aside, I first learned about hermeneutics (the study of texts, not the blog) when doing a research paper on the Bible in college.  Not coincidentally, that was also the last time I called myself a Christian.

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Friday, September 27, 2013

Single, Childfree and Totally Okay With It | Bustle

 "In our society, we tend to think about single, childfree women over a certain age in one of two ways. They're the hopeless spinsters — socially-awkward or overly-demanding outcasts who have 'failed' at snagging a man. Or they're high-powered career women whose current status reflects a life devoted to deadlines, paychecks, and climbing the proverbial corporate ladder."

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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Quigg: Having kids not for everyone

Quigg: Having kids not for everyone:
"As I reflect on the enormous commitment it is to bring a child into the world, I am inclined to agree that this may not be the right path for everyone. No one should conceive a child out of a sense of obligation. Truly, if your heart doesn’t ache to have a child, you should think long and hard about signing on for such a commitment. For adults who choose not to bear children, I for one look forward to the other contributions they may be free to make with all that energy they don’t have to expend on parenting."

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Monday, September 09, 2013

Silence of the child-free men

Silence of the child-free men 

"Sandler acknowledges that the topic of deliberate childlessness tends to centre only on women’s choices:
. . .
But it seems highly unrealistic to assume first-time fatherhood is on the cards for most childless 65-year-old men, so the absence of men in this discussion is probably about something more than simple biological differences.

More likely it’s a product of the ongoing discomfort with talking about the way men’s choices help shape women’s lives.

Unfortunately, leaving men out means ignoring the possibility that many men also want to live child-free lives, making it easier for women to make that choice themselves."

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Monday, September 02, 2013

Charter schools are recruiting young teachers. They should hire parents instead. - Slate Magazine

Charter schools are recruiting young teachers. They should hire parents instead. - Slate Magazine

1. Correlation does imply causation!  I guess all the experts are wrong.  It couldn't possibly be that the link between poor student retention and poor school performance is caused by teachers fleeing bad schools, could it?  NAH.  Must be that these childfree people make the school bad.

2. The childfree, and young people joining Teach for America as a temporary move are the same thing. Likewise, veteran teachers and parents are synonymous.  My experienced career-teaching friends must have kids they've been hiding from me.

3. Parenting makes you a better teacher.  Because parenting your kid teaches you about ALL KIDS.  Who knew?  My mother, with her 50 year teaching career, must have been full of bullshit when she claimed that her masters degree, 90 credits post masters, and extensive experience were what made her a good teacher and an expert on classroom management.  Apparently, although a superior teacher in a competitive top-ranked school *before* I was born, she instantly and finally transformed into a good teacher ten years later when she finally changed my diaper.  Damn, she owes me a portion of her pension, I suppose.

Or could it be that 4. all this is bullshit and Slate sucks at choosing articles based on science and reason, instead promoting myopic points of view based only on anecdotal evidence?  Nah.

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Friday, August 30, 2013

Time's piece on childless women: Interesting, but where are the child-free men?


"[T]he absence of men in this discussion (a problem I've contributed to) is probably about something more than simple biological differences. More likely, it's a product of the ongoing discomfort with talking about the way that men's choices help shape women's lives, for good or for ill. Unfortunately, leaving men out of the discussion means ignoring the possibility that many men also want to live child-free lives, making it easier for women to make that choice themselves."

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Wednesday, August 21, 2013

The Childfree Are All Right -- Yes, Someone Needed To Say It

The Childfree Are All Right -- Yes, Someone Needed To Say It:
 an excerpt:
Consider the most recently monthly Vanity Fair/CBS poll. For September, 2013, the topic was "The Perfect Woman." (The August 2013 poll was on the perfect man -- it's apparently equal opportunity ridiculousness over there.) When the 1,017 participants were asked the most important quality in a woman, 39 percent said being a good mother, above brains, a sense a humor and a healthy sex drive.

This "mother above all" view of womanhood is Sandler's target, not the women she profiles, who don't want kids, or readers who have or want them.

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Friday, August 16, 2013

Rick Sanchez: Country’s Future Depends On Immigrants

Fox News Latino

An article for those who need the occasional reminder why you don't watch Fox.

Apparently, we don't know what we're missing.  As if that is somehow especially true of having kids, and not of every important decision we make it life.  You don't know what you're missing by failing to move to India and join and ashram.  You don't know what you're missing doing the rewarding work of America's firefighters.  We don't know what we're missing when we fail to join a convent, live in Paris, buy a farm, live in Greenwich Village, get a PhD. 

Life is full of choices, most of which we make without really experiencing what we're passing up. The world is rife with opportunities to do all sorts of things, the majority of which we must necessarily overlook if we want to stay sane.  Somehow, perhaps because it used to be a biological imperative, perhaps because it's the thing most people do, or perhaps it is because there's no glut of journalists trying out those things I listed, parenting gets harped on as if it is this unitary experience.  To me, that just speaks of a lack of creativity, and a lack of awareness of all the things in the world we take a pass on every day.

He also puts forth the "it's worth it" fallacy.  As if parenting were not intensely personal experience whose benefits and costs will vary widely by person, as if it weren't different for each person.  As if the perspective of someone who wanted to have children is somehow compelling to those of us who feel differently about it.

You know what, Mr. Sanchez?  You're missing out on something too.  You're missing out on what it's like to love someone's company so much you would never dream of bringing another person into the household and changing the dynamic of your marriage.  You're missing out on what it is like to share your life with one and only one person for decades, building the kind of life where every Sunday afternoon spent reading in silence is golden.  You're missing out on the freedom of being single, the independence of having no one to account to, and growing into adulthood with the evolving meaning and rewards of the single lifestyle.  And you know what?  It's worth it.

For some.

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The choice to be child-free is admirable, not selfish

This is particularly well written and insightful.  It reads in part:
We all have one life on this planet. Seeking happiness selfishly, at the expense of others, isn't laudable. But seeking happiness and pleasure for oneself by making choices that serve one's needs and values, which don't harm other people? A society in which members collectively decide that their own needs are important, and that creating social structures to support a diversity of needs is a path to prosperity?

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Kate Spicer: 'Any woman who says she's happy to be childless is a liar or a fool' | Mail Online

Mail Online

This woman claims to speak for the 'majority' of childless women, and that's where this article goes horribly wrong.  She doesn't have the self-awareness to realize that in something this personal, she can only speak for herself.

She isn't unhappy because she's childfree.  She's unhappy because she wants children, and hasn't made that happen for herself.  She cannot, and should not, try to speak for those women who never wanted children.

She claims that a life without children is empty, and that no career or nights out can fill it.  Her life isn't empty because she doesn't have children, it is empty because she has given no real thought to how to make it otherwise.  Career and social life are stopgap answers.  They may work for some, but will not work for everyone.  If they do not make you happy and you never look beyond them to what can fulfill you, it is not your empty womb's fault.  It is simply a lack of perspective and planning.

I won't question her suspicions that children would have taken away that empty feeling.  It doesn't work for all women, and shouldn't be seen as a cure-all, but it is an intensely personal thing that people cannot judge in one another.  Yet without any real attempt to find a deeper meaning in relationships, volunteer work, or any other hobbies, causes, or the myriad and countless ways one can full their life, the last thing she should be doing is writing an article telling us how to live a rich and full existence.

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Monday, August 12, 2013

Parenthood optional -

Parenthood optional -

And part of the reason I'm putting myself out on this limb is to push the conversation past the stereotypes, the ones even the childfree sometimes play right into, namely that not having kids is a function of narcissism, materialism and, it goes without saying, selfishness. There's frequent talk of wanting to sleep late, take exotic vacations at the spur of the moment, and dote on "fur babies" (that would be pets) who don't talk back. Pronouncements like "My reason for not having kids is that Porsche sitting in my driveway" and "I can't even take care of myself!" are typical refrains.

This kind of talk always makes me cringe (ditto for the overpopulation lectures). Not because these reasons are never valid but because they reduce an important conversation to a series of punch lines. I cringe because knowing yourself well enough to realize you're not up for parenthood is the definition of taking care of yourself. Moreover, it's the definition of being a moral, ethical human being.

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Sunday, August 11, 2013

Child-free: Redefining "Reproductive Success" | Robert Walker

Child-free: Redefining "Reproductive Success" | Robert Walker:

HuffPo takes on the issue of 'reproductive success:
I would argue that "reproductive success" for the human race is not having more offspring than the Earth can reliably sustain. And if that is a fair measure of reproductive success, the evidence strongly suggests that we should be having fewer children, not more.

By some estimates, humanity is already using about 150 percent of the Earth's renewable resources and by 2030 we may need two planets to sustain us for the long term. We are, in other words, in mortal danger of over-utilizing the planetary resources that our children and their children will need to survive.

That's quite a better way of looking at it.  Although I would still argue that defining 'success' for every individual on earth was an arrogant a futile endeavor on the part of the evolutionary "psychologist".

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Should we care that smart women aren't having kids?

The article states:
Satoshi Kanazawa, the LSE psychologist behind the research, discussed the findings that maternal urges drop by 25% with every extra 15 IQ points in his book The Intelligence Paradox. In the opening paragraph of the chapter titled "Why intelligent people are the ultimate losers in life", he makes his feelings about voluntary childlessness very clear:
If any value is deeply evolutionarily familiar, it is reproductive success. If any value is truly unnatural, if there is one thing that humans (and all other species in nature) are decisively not designed for, it is voluntary childlessness. All living organisms in nature, including humans, are evolutionarily designed to reproduce. Reproductive success is the ultimate end of all biological existence.

How good of him to inform us what we are "designed for".  I am looking forward to his peer reviewed article showing the methodology with which he conclusively proved the meaning of life and our purpose here on earth. It should be groundbreaking, really, since the greatest minds in history have been unable to find a conclusion in the past several millenia.

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Time magazine catches on to the childfree movement, misses the green angle | Grist

Time magazine catches on to the childfree movement, misses the green angle | Grist

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This Land is Our Land – A child-free life - The Pampa News: Opinion

This Land is Our Land – A child-free life - The Pampa News: Opinion

Apparently, since this guy and his friend are happy being fathers, the childfree are missing out.  I sure missed out on that moment all humans became the same, and made happy by the same choices.

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Teddy Roosevelt's Warning To Time Magazine - David Stokes - Page 1

Teddy Roosevelt's Warning To Time Magazine - David Stokes - Page 1

The first essential in any civilization is that the man and women shall be father and mother of healthy children so that the [human] race shall increase and not decrease. If that is not so, if through no fault of the society there is failure to increase, it is a great misfortune. If the failure is due to the deliberate and willful fault, then it is not merely a misfortune, it is one of those crimes of ease and self-indulgence, of shrinking from pain and effort and risk, which in the long run Nature punishes more heavily than any other.

Apparently, being childfree is bad because it means we lose some kind of breeding race with other nations/ethnicities.  I suppose if you're not American or European, these folks approve of your childfree status, or disapprove of it philosophically yet celebrate it anyway.  Good to know that the population increase in the past 100 years hasn't changed the wisdom of Breeding For Country.

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Thursday, July 18, 2013

5 Things Parents Need to Stop Saying to Non-Parents | John Kinnear

5 Things Parents Need to Stop Saying to Non-Parents | John Kinnear

This was posted on Facebook by a friend of mine, provoking some interesting comments.  My favorite was this by Vinny:
Speaking only for myself, it's the subtext of the "my life was meaningless before kids" that gets under the skin. (Warning: Long!)

Taking the statement on a purely surface level, if someone tells me their life was meaningless before having kids, I defer to their assessment. Yeah, I'm probably a bit skeptical, but not to the point that I'd prod them about it. Maybe it was relatively meaningless, maybe it was actually meaningless. I haven't lived that person's life. I'll take their word for it.

Usually underpinning that statement, though, is either "I thought my life was meaningful before kids, and it was actually meaningless," and the related "People who don't have kids who think their lives have meaning (of which I was one), actually don't, and they just don't know it." Like they somehow stepped out of Plato's cave, and are trying to tell the prisoners inside how things *really* are. And, taking it a step further, it's not simply "I know *different* now," it's "I know *better* now." A bitter pill to swallow, to say the least.

I completely understand that having kids is a transformative experience, and that parenthood has been personally beneficial for many. And I also understand that it's nearly impossible for most parents to picture their lives without their kids. In most cases, that's a thought exercise that's unproductive at best and nearly impossible at worst. If one's life would be better had their kids never existed, it doesn't change anything, as one can't imagine a person out of existence. And from my experience, people are generally poor at taking all factors into consideration when imagining complicated and complex scenarios (this is by no means limited to parents or parenting). Honestly, I think the best illustration of this concept was handled by Star Trek: The Next Generation, in the Tapestry episode. .

In any case, I'm fine with the concept that parenthood can change a person's perspective, change their priorities, and for many, make them "better people" by some reasonable metric. I'm slightly less fine, but still generally fine, with being told that certain things won't make sense to me because I'm not a parent. I'd prefer to be the judge of that, and will freely admit if I don't get it. I'm not fine with being told that my life would be more meaningful if I had kids, but after a decade and a half of being openly childless-by-choice, I've learned to ignore such statements. I, do, however, openly rail against the idea that somehow or another, parenthood has magically imbued people with special wisdom that gives them supreme authority on matters of legislative and social policy. That concept is a strong one in our society, and is predicated on the notion that life without having kids lacks meaning.

(Note that I'm not saying anyone in this conversation has suggested that, but simply that the idea that life before/without kids is meaningless touches a very wide nerve.)
I thought he made an interesting point.

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Friday, July 12, 2013

Kate Middleton's baby and the American way of birth

What if, instead, we saw parenthood a bit more realistically: as something that most people do and that's necessary to continue the human race; as a thing that is fundamentally difficult and deserving of strong social support; and also as something that shouldn't be an assumption or a cultural marker of adulthood.

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Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Are child-free restaurants unfair? - vote here

Are child-free restaurants unfair? -

. . .
In the United States of America, you are free to bar anyone from entering your home.

The Sushi Bar owners have every right to foster a quiet, mature environment."

My comment:

You're mostly right. Restaurants don't have the same private property rights as homeowners do.  They cannot participate in INVIDIOUS discrimination, since they are places of "public accommodation" under the law.

The key here is that prohibiting minors is not invidious discrimination.  It is not targeting a disfavored group because of race, gender, or other impermissible reasons, but rather because of very real differences.  We discriminate when we ban children from voting, drinking, smoking, and driving because they are less mature and less able to make adult decisions.  Likewise, they are less able to control their behavior, and less aware of what appropriate behavior is.

Of course there are exceptions.  There are well behaved children, just as there are 14 years olds who are mature enough to understand elections and drink responsibly.  But we draw bright-line rules because the harm is minimal (eat somewhere else, wait to vote) and the alternative is impracticable.

Discrimination is not a bad word. Without it, we would be left unable to make decisions as a society.  The key here is whether these decisisons are a fair balance between individual rights and property rights.  I think the restaurant business has thus far found a good balance.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

How a newborn can ruin your marriage:

Phenomenon known as 'baby quakes' makes couples shun intimacy
Their study found almost two-thirds of new parents have a concern about their relationship which did not exist before.

Often parents are so worried about their new roles, either staying at home or being the main breadwinner, that they neglect each other and stop regarding themselves as romantic partners.

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How to Explain Why You've Chosen Not to Have�Children

Basic Instructions

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Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Please Don't Ask Me About Mother's Day - Speakeasy - WSJ

Wall Street Journal:

Asking a childfree woman if she’s thinks her decision is selfish is not a question. It’s a judgment disguised as a question. Childfree women are actually great assets to the planet. Our carbon footprint is smaller than a mom’s! And we have enough money to write checks to organizations that help kids get vaccinations, vitamins, and educations; yet have plenty of free time to advise your daughter that one day she will regret piercing her lip.

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Sunday, May 12, 2013

Why I hate Mother's Day
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CBS Sunday Morning

Just the Two of Us My friends and I were the lead story this morning!

"Child-free people are not selfish," said Valenti. "You know, the idea that the only way to be selfless is to have children, I think, is a really dangerous notion, and a really dangerous ideal.
"There's plenty of ways to be a good, compassionate, productive citizen without bringing children into the world. So as long as we kind of think that, that stereotype is going to remain."
Tracy Ellen Kamens believes it's more selfish to have a child if you're not sure that you can be the parent that you'd like to be. "I've always said that I'd rather make a mistake and not have a child than have a child and find out that that's a mistake," she said.
"I think we all make selfish decisions," said Laura Ciaccio. "Every time you go out and, you know, buy yourself a latte instead of donating money to the poor, you're making a selfish decision.
"Life is about balancing the things you do for yourself with the things you do for the world. And there's a lot of ways to contribute to the world other than having kids."
Most people seem to agree: In fact, according to a new CBS News poll, only 16 percent said that people who decide to remain childless do so for selfish reasons.
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Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Stop Telling Me I’ll “Change My Mind” About Wanting Kids |

Stop Telling Me I’ll “Change My Mind” About Wanting Kids |
I was livid. More than livid, I was embarrassed. I understand the pressure from parents who want to become grandparents, but from another woman, it’s bullying, plain and simple. Asking questions about why I don’t want kids is really none of your business, but at least it’s a dialogue. Telling me straight up that I will “change my mind” because you are so sure that I will suddenly realize one day that my decision is the wrong one — that’s not only rude, it’s an attack. And think about how painful that kind of statement might be to a woman who can’t have kids, and who has thus far been politely humoring you so she can get another glass of white wine before they shut down the open bar?

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Childfree By Choice: How I Almost Convinced Myself To Become A Mother

Excerpted from "I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
He didn't know how to go for his dreams but he was convinced that once a baby was born, that would replace his dream. His life would be solved. He wouldn't have to try and maybe fail and disappoint himself or his father in the process . . .
I admit, when I would see Matt's baby pictures; I'd get some kind of an urge. Those cute dimples. His black curls loose on his head -- his head that's a little too big for his baby body. I'd say, "Aw, I long for a Baby Matt." But then I'd head in for snuggles with Adult Matt and realize that dimple is still there; I can run my hand through those curls. I don't want to raise a little Baby Matt. I want to snuggle inappropriately with Adult Matt.
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Friday, April 05, 2013

Wonderplanet (parenting parody)

The New Yorker

A parody of Park Slope mommyhood.  As is usual with the New Yorker, some of it goes over my head.  It's . .  amusing nonetheless. 
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Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Child-free blogger weighs in on parenting fails

BabyCenter Blog

Here's a slightly softer parent reaction to Mr. Bruni's piece.

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State Of The Uterus Address, 2013

Young House Love

This post is primarily about why people shouldn't ask a woman if she is pregnant.  She leaves out "maybe she doesn't want kids" but that's not why I am posting this.  The thing that caught my eye were her particular reasons for wanting people not to ask.  You see, she had a dangerous birth complication with her last child (placental abruption) and is sensitive on the subject.

Furthermore,her next child will have a 1 in 4 chance of the same complication.  That sentence kind of chilled me there.  Her next child.  Will.  Reading between the lines, it seems she is leaning toward taking that risk, and certainly hasn't ruled it out.

Which leads me to ask - is this moral?  I could never confront someone on such a personal decision, and there seems to be a taboo against discussing it at all.  However, if we're talking about the welfare of a third party, I wonder if it is time to put that taboo to rest.  It might not be right to tell someone what to do, but I am unwilling to say the same about mere discourse.

Even if it's not - let's talk about this in the abstract.  When is the risk too high? At what point does it become unethical to subject a future child to danger?

There seems to be some consensus among tesach carriers.  Getting yourself tested and avoiding pregnancy is standard practice when you know your child will lead a short, agonizing life.  And we all basically start with the assumption that the natural risks of every pregnancy are well within the permissible zone.  However, I see very little discussion of the vast chasm in the middle.

I would like to know your thoughts.

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Frank Bruni, child-free columnist, should leave parents alone.

Frank Bruni, child-free columnist, should leave parents alone.

Frank Bruni wrote an article (posted below) about the extremes of modern parenting - parents constantly fretting about the perfect way to do it, inundated with advice, who end up at the extreme end of the free-range or helicopter style. 

This author takes issue with that, because parents are too inundated with advice.  Mr. Bruni, your directive to parents to cut themselves some slack and love their kids is unwelcome.  Because a childless person daring to have an opinion on the subject, even a mild one, is the same damn thing as all this overparenting advice.  In that it is an opinion.  The childfree are not allowed those, you know.

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A Childless Bystander’s Baffled Hymn

A Childless Bystander’s Baffled Hymn -

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Monday, April 01, 2013

Facebook Likes, Intelligence, and ....

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... "I Love Being a Mom."

Apparently, a correlational study was done that showed pretty high accuracy between "liking" certain things on Facebook and different personal/personality elements, like religious affiliation and sexual orientation.  "I Like Being a Mom" was associated with lower intelligence.

Not suggesting that actually being a mom, and liking it, necessarily means that you're a couple of steps behind, but that liking that Facebook group isn't a fast-track to Mensa.  Perhaps they need to eat some curly fries to make up the difference?

Princeton mom: Women have a shelf life - Apr. 1, 2013

Princeton mom: Women have a shelf life - Apr. 1, 2013

Friday, February 22, 2013

Oklahoma May Deny Women Affordable Birth Control Because It 'Poisons Their Bodies' | ThinkProgress

Oklahoma May Deny Women Affordable Birth Control Because It 'Poisons Their Bodies' | ThinkProgress: Women are worse off with contraception because it suppresses and disables who they are, Pedulla said.

“Part of their identity is the potential to be a mother,” Pedulla said. “They are being asked to suppress and radically contradict part of their own identity, and if that wasn’t bad enough, they are being asked to poison their bodies.”

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Friday, February 15, 2013

CBS Sunday Morning

Tune in to CBS Sunday Morning this weekend for a piece on the childfree. I appear with my husband and some friends of mine, and we're interviewed by Tracy Smith. While I haven't seen the piece yet, I can tell you that Ms. Smith was very open and compassionate regarding the childfree choice.
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Sunday, February 10, 2013

Midlife Ramblings: What I Don't Get About My Childless/Childfree Young Friends

Midlife Ramblings: What I Don't Get About My Childless/Childfree Young Friends
How can you be so sure? I think having kids is one of those things you should probably never say never about. What feels right today may not feel so right tomorrow. I'd be the first to acknowledge that not everyone is cut out for parenting; yes, there are some mass murderers and a few soccer moms I'm directing that comment to. But, based on nothing but my own experience and beliefs, parenting is a unique experience that stretches our capacity to show compassion toward others. It lowers our self-absorption level and requires us to put another's needs ahead of of our own. That's a good thing, especially when carried out on a large scale.
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