Childfree By Choice: How I Almost Convinced Myself To Become A Mother

Excerpted from "I Can Barely Take Care of Myself

He didn't know how to go for his dreams but he was convinced that once a baby was born, that would replace his dream. His life would be solved. He wouldn't have to try and maybe fail and disappoint himself or his father in the process . . .

I admit, when I would see Matt's baby pictures; I'd get some kind of an urge. Those cute dimples. His black curls loose on his head -- his head that's a little too big for his baby body. I'd say, "Aw, I long for a Baby Matt." But then I'd head in for snuggles with Adult Matt and realize that dimple is still there; I can run my hand through those curls. I don't want to raise a little Baby Matt. I want to snuggle inappropriately with Adult Matt.

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