This post is primarily about why people shouldn't ask a woman if she is pregnant. She leaves out "maybe she doesn't want kids" but that's not why I am posting this. The thing that caught my eye were her particular reasons for wanting people not to ask. You see, she had a dangerous birth complication with her last child (placental abruption) and is sensitive on the subject.
Furthermore,her next child will have a 1 in 4 chance of the same complication. That sentence kind of chilled me there. Her next child. Will. Reading between the lines, it seems she is leaning toward taking that risk, and certainly hasn't ruled it out.
Which leads me to ask - is this moral? I could never confront someone on such a personal decision, and there seems to be a taboo against discussing it at all. However, if we're talking about the welfare of a third party, I wonder if it is time to put that taboo to rest. It might not be right to tell someone what to do, but I am unwilling to say the same about mere discourse.
Even if it's not - let's talk about this in the abstract. When is the risk too high? At what point does it become unethical to subject a future child to danger?
There seems to be some consensus among tesach carriers. Getting yourself tested and avoiding pregnancy is standard practice when you know your child will lead a short, agonizing life. And we all basically start with the assumption that the natural risks of every pregnancy are well within the permissible zone. However, I see very little discussion of the vast chasm in the middle.
I would like to know your thoughts.
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