Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Stop Telling Me I’ll “Change My Mind” About Wanting Kids | TIME.com

Stop Telling Me I’ll “Change My Mind” About Wanting Kids | TIME.com:
I was livid. More than livid, I was embarrassed. I understand the pressure from parents who want to become grandparents, but from another woman, it’s bullying, plain and simple. Asking questions about why I don’t want kids is really none of your business, but at least it’s a dialogue. Telling me straight up that I will “change my mind” because you are so sure that I will suddenly realize one day that my decision is the wrong one — that’s not only rude, it’s an attack. And think about how painful that kind of statement might be to a woman who can’t have kids, and who has thus far been politely humoring you so she can get another glass of white wine before they shut down the open bar?


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Childfree By Choice: How I Almost Convinced Myself To Become A Mother

Excerpted from "I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
He didn't know how to go for his dreams but he was convinced that once a baby was born, that would replace his dream. His life would be solved. He wouldn't have to try and maybe fail and disappoint himself or his father in the process . . .
I admit, when I would see Matt's baby pictures; I'd get some kind of an urge. Those cute dimples. His black curls loose on his head -- his head that's a little too big for his baby body. I'd say, "Aw, I long for a Baby Matt." But then I'd head in for snuggles with Adult Matt and realize that dimple is still there; I can run my hand through those curls. I don't want to raise a little Baby Matt. I want to snuggle inappropriately with Adult Matt.
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Friday, April 05, 2013

Wonderplanet (parenting parody)

The New Yorker

A parody of Park Slope mommyhood.  As is usual with the New Yorker, some of it goes over my head.  It's . .  amusing nonetheless. 
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Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Child-free blogger weighs in on parenting fails

BabyCenter Blog

Here's a slightly softer parent reaction to Mr. Bruni's piece.

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State Of The Uterus Address, 2013

Young House Love

This post is primarily about why people shouldn't ask a woman if she is pregnant.  She leaves out "maybe she doesn't want kids" but that's not why I am posting this.  The thing that caught my eye were her particular reasons for wanting people not to ask.  You see, she had a dangerous birth complication with her last child (placental abruption) and is sensitive on the subject.

Furthermore,her next child will have a 1 in 4 chance of the same complication.  That sentence kind of chilled me there.  Her next child.  Will.  Reading between the lines, it seems she is leaning toward taking that risk, and certainly hasn't ruled it out.

Which leads me to ask - is this moral?  I could never confront someone on such a personal decision, and there seems to be a taboo against discussing it at all.  However, if we're talking about the welfare of a third party, I wonder if it is time to put that taboo to rest.  It might not be right to tell someone what to do, but I am unwilling to say the same about mere discourse.

Even if it's not - let's talk about this in the abstract.  When is the risk too high? At what point does it become unethical to subject a future child to danger?

There seems to be some consensus among tesach carriers.  Getting yourself tested and avoiding pregnancy is standard practice when you know your child will lead a short, agonizing life.  And we all basically start with the assumption that the natural risks of every pregnancy are well within the permissible zone.  However, I see very little discussion of the vast chasm in the middle.

I would like to know your thoughts.


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Frank Bruni, child-free columnist, should leave parents alone.

Frank Bruni, child-free columnist, should leave parents alone.

Frank Bruni wrote an article (posted below) about the extremes of modern parenting - parents constantly fretting about the perfect way to do it, inundated with advice, who end up at the extreme end of the free-range or helicopter style. 

This author takes issue with that, because parents are too inundated with advice.  Mr. Bruni, your directive to parents to cut themselves some slack and love their kids is unwelcome.  Because a childless person daring to have an opinion on the subject, even a mild one, is the same damn thing as all this overparenting advice.  In that it is an opinion.  The childfree are not allowed those, you know.


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A Childless Bystander’s Baffled Hymn

A Childless Bystander’s Baffled Hymn - NYTimes.com


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Monday, April 01, 2013

Facebook Likes, Intelligence, and ....


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... "I Love Being a Mom."

Apparently, a correlational study was done that showed pretty high accuracy between "liking" certain things on Facebook and different personal/personality elements, like religious affiliation and sexual orientation.  "I Like Being a Mom" was associated with lower intelligence.

Not suggesting that actually being a mom, and liking it, necessarily means that you're a couple of steps behind, but that liking that Facebook group isn't a fast-track to Mensa.  Perhaps they need to eat some curly fries to make up the difference?

Princeton mom: Women have a shelf life - Apr. 1, 2013

Princeton mom: Women have a shelf life - Apr. 1, 2013