Saturday, April 25, 2015

Let's Stop Giving Shit To Women Who Don't Want Kids

Let's Stop Giving Shit To Women Who Don't Want Kids�|�Karen Mangiacotti:

"You want to open yourself up to a huge stinking pile of judgment? Just be a childless female over 30. Even worse, a married childless female over 30. A woman who chooses not to have a child.

I have never been a childless female over 30, so I am not speaking from experience. But, I can tell you that I have never heard anything good offered up about women who exercise their right to live their life in a way that suits them.

I can also tell you that whenever I meet a woman who has chosen not to have children, she confesses that right away. Sometimes she will share this information apologetically, sometimes with a bit of compensating bravado, and sometimes just as a warning or heads-up that I may find her pristine ovaries all too much and take leave of her company forthwith."

Well, I've been a married woman over 30 for over 7 years now.  I've admitted in the past that I don't get shit.  I know, I'm incredibly lucky.  I'm a native New Yorker whose parents cared a lot more about me getting a college education than whether I gave them grandchildren (and a mother in law who doesn't even know how to be judgmental).  My neighbors and community know I'm childfree, and the usual response is "kids are not for everyone" (although, come to think of it, many of my neighbors don't have kids either . . . )

So I want hear from my other married 30s women - what have your experiences been?  I have no doubts that the article is true, and it is difficult for many of you, but I'm curious what kind of range there really is out there.

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1 comment:

Susan said...

"Well, I've been a married woman over 30 for over 7 years now".

Me too. I'm 38. Been married since 2004 and I have to admit that being child free wasn't 100% by choice. I'm an Infertile Myrtle (been that way since my early 20s). Even so, I always rather suspected I didn't want parenthood.

Some people are nosy, others are not. My best friend (since age 6) has two kids, yet we remain best friends. We've proven that moms and non-moms can get along just fine. It does require a little flexibility on both of our parts and I understand that we have to sometimes alter our plans because of kids issues.

Our husbands get along well.